How Rolling Girl Found Her Purpose
by hanaseko
Summary: Title says all...


Suicide has never been out of the question for me.

For some time, I've been fighting (and losing) the battle against bullying. Every trek through the halls meant another round of teasing. "Hide your girlfriends! Miku's coming!" Based on that, I'm sure you can guess what I'm getting at, right?

It all started with some little incident in the lunch room last Tuesday. Like usual, my little group of friends and I were sitting together, enjoying our lunches and talking. Seems pretty normal, huh? Well, Rin Kagamine, my closest friend, had been touching some very sensitive subjects as she talked, and the table was soon caught up in a game of Truth or Dare. I planned on just sitting on the sidelines to watch the insanity that was sure to ensue, but before I could object, Rin pulled me into the game. "Truth or Dare?" My mouth went dry, and this terrible lump in my throat made it hard to swallow. Why was I so nervous?

Soon, I was able to answer. "Truth," I said. Rin shot me this smirk that surely meant trouble. I was right about that. "Who, out of all the boys in this school, do you like the most?" There it was. Somehow, I'd known this was coming. Rin always was one to ask things like this. "Uhh…" Under the stare of three other girls, my face went beet red. Alright, I thought to myself, all I have to do is give a simple answer. But I have to be careful. If I say the wrong thing, it'll set all three of them off. "Uh, I think that Kaito Shion guy's pretty easy on the eyes." I had the feeling that they knew I was lying.

After asking Gumi a rather innocent question (to which she answered with a sort of disgusted look), I was back out of the game. No matter how much my friends could pry and dig, they would eventually respect your silence. You could say that's why I stuck around them so much. The remaining fifteen minutes felt like five hours, but eventually they let us go to dump our trays. Once Rin was alone, it was pretty easy to sneak up on her. Creeping into a nearby girls restroom, I pulled her inside the moment she walked by. "Miku?!" Her eyes betrayed the surprise she tried to hide. "Yeah, it's me. Calm yourself." Despite what I was about to say, I was being really calm myself. "I have to tell you something."

There was a silence, which Rin broke rather impatiently. "Well, what is it? Spit it out already, or we'll be late for class." Though her words were sharp, I didn't flinch. I knew that Rin didn't mean to be so sour, it was just the stress of school and classes. "Oh. Sorry." Taking a deep breath, I forced my blue gaze to dart away. "What I said back there, about who I liked...I lied." For a moment, Rin looked infuriated.

"That's all? You're kidding, right? Come on, it's not that big of a deal!"

"But that's not what I want to say!" My usual soft, level tone rose as high as it could, and my words echoed around the walls of the bathroom. "I don't like Kaito. i really don't care about him. Who I really like is….is….you." The secret was finally out. I would've felt a weight lift from my shoulders if Rin hadn't looked at me like I was insane. "M-me? Miku…this isn't a very funny joke." Desperate now, I murmured, "But I can prove it!" With that said, I leaned dangerously close. Wrapping my shaking arms around her waist, I pressed my lips against hers. As I'd imagined many times before, Rin's lips were soft and tasted of orange lipgloss. When I broke away, she was blushing. Her whole face had turned an unnatural shade of crimson. "You...you're sick."

My heart literally tore in two. Sick? I'm sick? Says the one who didn't even try to pull away!

"...Sick? Rin, I -"

"No! Don't even try to apologize, freak!" Making a show of wiping her lips, Rin raced out of the bathroom, leaving me huddled against the wall. I'm sick. I'm a freak. Rin's saying this is unnatural. All through fifth and sixth period, I was in the bathroom, huddled in the farthest stall to the right. I didn't cry all that much. I just...sat there. I even went as far as holding my breath when others entered.

Since then, I bought a little pocket knife, my own handkerchief, and a sweater to cover up the scars I left on my arms. Those items have been tucked away in my pocket since that day. For some reason, it seems that I can never leave the house without them.

For the rest of that week, I made myself scarce. I was constantly afraid that, if Rin had even told anyone about what happened in the bathroom, someone would ask me why. I didn't want to be asked. I didn't know, and I just wanted to keep it between the two of us. Of course, the next time I caught Rin at our lunch table, I was met with coldness from all four of them. Gumi had laid a hand across the empty seat next to her and told me she was "saving" it. That was basic code for "go away."

I was met with an even worse fate the next week. As I expected her to, Rin had leaked the news all over Facebook and Twitter, even going as far as unfriend/unfollowing me. Gumi, Miki, and Yukki had done the same. That's when the teasing hit its peak. Every time I passed someone in the hall, the nearest boy would shout, "Hey, Hatsune! You interested?" Then, he'd point to the nearest female. Ignoring it as well as I could, I would apologize and move on. Literally every time that happened, I would find myself in that same stall, slitting any spot I could in my wrist.

You wanna know something funny? I think that little pocket knife has become my best friend. Its blade is stained with my blood, after all. Before the blood completely dyed it a different colour, my mother had even gone as far as to sew my name into my handkerchief. I feel sad that I haven't gotten to enjoy the teal letters embroidered into the white, cotton material.

The only class I could truly be myself in was my vocal music class. For some reason, when I got ready to leave for that classroom, genuine happiness washed over me. My friends (when I had them) told me that I was "in my element" every second period. I was still a lonely nobody even in my music class, but I didn't mind. At least I had the opportunity to enjoy something that I loved.

It was one such Thursday that I earned the chance to break out of my shell.

For a while, there had been talk of a special project in my vocal music class. Apparently, it was a partner project. That had me worried for a little, but I eventually eased myself. It was just a rumour, right? Just because some random person had overheard a meaningless conversation didn't mean that it was true. They could be completely wrong.

As usual, with my luck, that rumour ended up being painfully true. Kiyoteru-sensei had taken the time to pair us all up, girls with girls, boys with boys. How unfair could life be? Seriously! As soon as I stepped into class, I was bombarded with insults and countless teasings. Kiyoteru-sensei wasn't here to save me. Ducking my head, I literally raced to my seat, sitting down with a huff. The boy next to me refrained from saying something, but I could tell he wanted to. He kept glancing at me from the corner of his eyes.

Kiyoteru-sensei stepped into the room as soon as the bell rang, flashing a smile that settled the rest of the class down. "Good morning, class," his masculine, deep voice bounced off the walls of the classroom. This is what I enjoyed most about Kiyoteru-sensei. His voice may seem deep, but he could reach amazing high notes, some of them even higher than I could go.

Once the students settled down, he launched right into the explanation of the project. With a partner, we had to create a song. It didn't seem so hard at first, but then he mentioned the requirements. "Here's the catch: one person in the group has to write one line, while the other must write a line below it in answer." My heart skipped a beat. The song idea I already had in my head vanished into thin air.

As the students buzzed with excitement, he pulled out a huge, plastic three ring binder, opening it to a page near the back. "Listen! Here, I have the partners listed. No negative comments, please - I tried my best with pairing all of you up." He went down the list in alphabetical order. I held my breath when he reached my name. "Hatsune Miku and….Megurine Luka."

All at once, pent-up negative comments flooded my mind. Why couldn't I work with someone I knew? This Megurine Luka girl may be an idiot, for all I know. And worst of all, she sounded older than me. There was definitely no Megurine Luka in my grade. Maybe I shouldn't have signed up for advanced vocal music.

In no time at all, Sensei was finished, packing away his binder as the students milled around the room, searching for their partners in the sea of teenagers. While watching Kiyoteru-sensei, I completely zoned out, allowing thoughts to drone lazily in my mind.

"Hatsune-san?"

I almost fell out of my chair. Snapping out of my daze, I looked over with narrow eyes, finding the girl that must've been Megurine Luka at my side. I was correct about the age difference. Even though she was only a year older, she was most definitely taller than me, looking as if she were in her twenties in stead of only being sixteen. Composing myself, I nodded. "Yes. Megurine-san?"

"Yeah." The awkward silence that stretched out after that was almost worse than being paired up with Luka. She was staring an awful lot, occasionally glancing down at a little notebook she had with her. Eventually, I broke the silence. "Do you have any ideas to start out with?" She nodded, pointing down at the notebook. "Several in here," she said, flipping a few pages to prove her point. "If you want to read over any of them, you can. Do you have an ideas?"

Hesitantly, I shook my head. I had a folded up piece of paper in my pocket containing my very first music piece that would never be discovered, but I had a feeling that Luka wouldn't be interested. "Can I see the notebook?" She handed it over.

None of the songs she had in the notebook were finished, unfortunately. No matter. I could probably help with anything, if she wanted me to. Other than that, they were all wonderful ideas, including one I found called Just be Friends. Even though there were these random symbols that kept popping up everywhere, what I could read of it was alright. When I looked up from the notebook, Luka fixed me with a narrow-eyed stare.

"You're lying." What? Lying? About what? Was she one of the odd kids?

"Uhm...I don't understand."

"You do have an idea." Yes, she must be one of those odd kids. I found myself getting even more freaked out by the second. How would she know? I didn't look suspicious when I told her I didn't, did I? "What are you talking about? I said I didn't." Keeping her turqouise eyes on my blue ones the whole time, she reached out, slipping her hand into my skirt pocket. "P-pervert," I mumbled, narrowing my eyes. Slowly, she pulled her hand away, holding up a piece of paper. "You shouldn't let your emotions and thoughts show so easily in your eyes." She's a know-it-all, too? What a partner! Thanks, Sensei!

"You have no business with that," I said, reaching out for the paper. She moved her hand away before I could get it. Wearing a ghost of a smirk, she unfolded it, watching me all the while. "We should present any and all ideas, yeah?" Clearly satisfied with the scowl on my face, she read over the paper, the corner of her lips raising in a tiny smile. "Well?" I growled, "How stupid do you think it is? What's your opinion? Honestly, I want you to tell me how terrible you think I am for writing something like that."

"I like it."

"Yes, I know that the lyrics seem stupid to - wait, what?" It was extremely surprising that she wasn't spitting hate at me. The only other positive comment I'd gotten on it was from my mom, because, of course, she didn't know what I was feeling or what the lyrics meant to me. In shock, I could only stare at Luka.

"I said I like it. You wouldn't happen to be the Hatsune Miku, would you?"

I shrugged. "If you mean the suicidal gay Hatsune Miku, then yeah, that's me." Another awkward silence. God, I hated those. "Well, Hatsune Miku," Luka murmured, lowering her voice so only I could hear. "I've been waiting to meet you." Alright, I take back what I said about her earlier. I was obviously very off. She's a total nutcase.

Fortunately for me, the bell rang after an epic staredown between the two of us. "Well, I'll see you later. Have a nice -"

"Wait!" I froze mid-step on my way to the door, turning my head slowly as Luka tucked a slip of paper into my skirt pocket. "You have a cellphone, don't you?" Eye twitching, I nodded. "That's my number. Give me a call or text me when you get time, yeah?" With that, she was gone. As I raced off to my next class, I couldn't shake the nagging suspicions about this 'Megurine Luka' character. She seemed a little too weird. Why was she so interested in me?

Ah, whatever. She could just be some weird stalker. No use worrying. Might as well forget.

And I did, until about twelve in the morning.


End file.
